31 October 2011
NFL Results Week 8
Detroit 45, Denver 10: The last time Tim Tebow and Mathilda Stafford went head-to-head was almost 3 years ago to the day. Tebow hit 10 of 13 passes for 154 yds, 2 tds, no INTs, while Mathilda was 18 for 33, 265 yds, 0 tds, 3 INTs. Tebow’s Florida routed Stafford’s Georgia 49 – 10. What a difference a league makes. The SEC ain’t the NFL, as Tebow sadly found out as the performances and results of that 2008 college game were reversed in Denver with Stafford’s Lions embarrassing Tebow’s Broncos 45 – 10. The Lions sacked (and mocked) Tebow at will, and when he did throw the ball outside of garbage time, his tosses would have made Bobby Douglass look like Steve Young. Stafford, on the other hand, sat back in the pocket and found guys open by 20+ yds in the end zone. . .Stafford’s 21 for 30, 267 yds, 3 tds, 0 INTs game washing away the stink of the last two weeks. Anyone who saw the Lions-Broncos game would have to conclude Tebow’s glory days are behind him, and Stafford’s are still ahead of her.
St. Louis 31, New Orleans 21: Huh?!?! It will be hard to take the Saints seriously as a Super Bowl contender after losing badly to AJ Feely and the rancid Rams. The Rams hadn’t even been competitive the last two weeks against Dallas and Green Bay, and yet here they dominate the Saints. The Saints are too inconsistent, their run game is a mess. . .hell, Tebow probably could have beat them Sunday.
30 October 2011
NCAA Week 9 Results
Nebraska 24, Michigan State 3: Ha ha ha. . .Sparty wants to be thought of as an *elite* program, yet as soon as they lose a game, they cry about having to play four *hard* games in a row. . .wah, wah, wah. But who the Hell did they play? Ohio State, when Bauserman was their QB, so they sucked, Michigan, a soft team rebuilding with a first-year coach, Wisconsin and Nebraska. And they had a bye week between OSU and Michigan. Now look at Florida, they played Alabama, LSU, Auburn and Georgia in four consecutive weeks—now that’s a tough schedule. . .and you don’t hear the Gators complaining. It is what it is, unless you are a Sparty trying to excuse away a loss. Anyway, the game went like I thought. Nebraska was able to use its sodbuster white tailback to plow the Sparty defense, and Kirk Cousins sucked on the road, which is a fairly common occurrence.
Michigan 36, Purdue 14: No way I thought this team would win 7 games, even with the EZ schedule they have this year. I’ve seen enough now to congratulate Greg Mattison for his work. They got maybe one good player on defense, Martin, who hasn’t played as well as he did last year, and they knocked their points against down from 240 to 117—cut in half. . .some of it is luck, a lot of turnovers, but still, they eliminated a lot of the big play TDs RichRod’s defense gave away. Improvement has been made. Now Michigan’s schedule gets a little tougher, at least for the Big 10, nobody else would consider Iowa and Illinois tough. . .but they ought to beat Iowa, for crying out loud. Iowa just got beat by one of the worst teams I’ve ever seen, Minnesota. Michigan is better than Iowa, but they were also better than Iowa under RichRod, and still lost. It’s a sign that things have gone much better for Brady Hoke than most had expected when a loss at Iowa will be considered a disappointment.
Ohio State 33, Wisconsin 29: Ha ha ha. . .the Badgers have blown two games in a row by allowing last second TD bombs. Their dream season is up in smoke, now they are just another two loss team trying to avoid a flea bag bowl. . .all the big talk about BCS titles when they were steamrolling horseshit teams with their fancy negro quarterback two weeks ago seems absurd. . .ha, they were better last year with white boy cow milker Scott Tolzein. The Buckeyes now have a chance to salvage their season, and Coach Fickell must be second-guessing himself to death. . .if only he’d dumped Bauserman earlier for Miller, he might have had a chance to keep his job.
Georgia 24, Florida 20: Despite giving up a DUMB 4th and 19 td pass, Georgia sacked the shit out of Florida. Florida can’t run the ball (22 carries, -19 yards in this one), and until they fix that, they will remain a mediocre team. Georgia (assuming South Carolina loses to Ar-Kansas) thanks to an EZ-for-the-SEC-schedule (no LSU, Alabama or Ar-Kansas) is on its way to the SEC title game.
28 October 2011
NFL Week 8
Jacksonville +10 at Houston: Last week Jacksonville lucked out and got one of those games where Joe Flacco plays like Joe Flaccid, and they actually beat the Ravens. The Xanax Texans, after losing 3 of 4 and looking like they were about give back the AFC South Title gifted to them after Peyton Manning went down, turned around and beat the Hell out of Tennessee. I’ve always liked Jags head coach Jack Del Rio. Like Harbaugh and Schwartz and Ryan, he adds a little color and edginess to what is generally a pretty bland, cliche-spewing lot. . .but it looks like Jack has stopped wearing his leather jacket on the sideline? What’s up with that? Was he getting propositioned by too many Club Jacksonville homos? As for the game itself, it all comes down to which of these teams has the better odds of actually playing two good games in a row. At least the Depakote Texans have an NFL quarterback. Houston.
Indianapolis +9 at Tennessee. Both teams got hammered last. In fact, Indianapolis took an SEC vs FCS school-type beating, losing 62 - 7 to the Saints. The loss of Peyton Manning has revealed to all the world what I always knew head coach Jim Caldwell to be: an amiable-but-clueless negro wandering the sidelines wondering how he ever got so lucky to be Tony Dungy’s friend. . .although without Manning around, it looks like his luck has run out. Matt *Lazarus* Hasselbeck has played like a corpse the last two weeks, after earlier leading Tennessee to a surprising 3 - 1 start. Now they are 3 - 3, and Chris Johnson still can’t run the ball and Tennessee is sinking fast. This is a game Indianapolis could actually win, and should certainly be able to cover with a generous 9 points. Indianapolis.
New Orleans at St. Louis +13 1/2: New Orleans got to play shitty Indy last week (62 - 7), and now play an even worse team. St. Louis, Miami and Indy are winless and beginning to threaten Rod Marinelli’s perfekt season. But Indy and St. Louis play in crap divisions and have plenty of games with shitty teams left, so they should each be able to scrape up at least one win. But Miami? They play in the NFL’s toughest division, and after blowing last week’s game at home to Tim Tebow, their last favorable looking game on their schedule, the Dolphins look like they might be on their way to putting an 0 - 16 season on the shelf to bookend Don Shula’s 17 - 0 season. But, anyway, as for the NO - STL game. . .St. Louis only getting 13 1/2?!?! I figured they’d at least get 20 1/2. Bet your wedding ring on the Saints. New Orleans.
Detroit at Denver +2 1/2: The Lions have this game and a home game against Carolina as the last *easy* games on their schedule. If they can’t beat Denver, the pre-season darlings Lions’ season will go up in smoke, and Jim Schwartz will likely pull a Woody Hayes sometime during the last nine weeks of the season. Even if Mathilda Stafford couldn’t play, and as of right now, it seems certain she will suit up, the Lions should still be able win this game EZ with Shaun Hill. If Willis McGahee with his one hundred year old knees runs for a 100 on Detroit, Suh and Co. ought to to fulfill Alex Karras’ 1967 vow, and walk home in shame from Denver. Detroit.
New England at Pittsburgh +3: After a slow start, the Steelers have been getting it together the last three weeks. New England is 5 - 1, and most people believe them to still be an *elite* team. Not me. The Pats are soft on defense, and Tom Brady looks very beatable when facing a team that can pressure him. Brady has never had much trouble with the Steelers defense, though. It’s not often you see the Steelers a home underdog. I’m betting this is the year the Steelers put the hurt on Brady. Pittsburgh.
Dallas +3 1/2 at Philadelphia: Two sloppy big play offenses going at it to see who remains in the race to win the mediocre NFC East. The Cowboys got a huge game from Demarco Murray last week, and now face an Eagles team with a terrible run defense. The Eagles have the #1 rushing offense in the league, and are going up against Dallas’ #1 rush defense, meaning the Eagles chances hinge on the million dollar left arm and ten cent brain of Michael Vick. This one should feature tons of big plays, penalties, INTs and bonehead decisions. In a game between two teams that both tend to self-destruct, I’ll take the one getting the points. Dallas.
Indianapolis +9 at Tennessee. Both teams got hammered last. In fact, Indianapolis took an SEC vs FCS school-type beating, losing 62 - 7 to the Saints. The loss of Peyton Manning has revealed to all the world what I always knew head coach Jim Caldwell to be: an amiable-but-clueless negro wandering the sidelines wondering how he ever got so lucky to be Tony Dungy’s friend. . .although without Manning around, it looks like his luck has run out. Matt *Lazarus* Hasselbeck has played like a corpse the last two weeks, after earlier leading Tennessee to a surprising 3 - 1 start. Now they are 3 - 3, and Chris Johnson still can’t run the ball and Tennessee is sinking fast. This is a game Indianapolis could actually win, and should certainly be able to cover with a generous 9 points. Indianapolis.
New Orleans at St. Louis +13 1/2: New Orleans got to play shitty Indy last week (62 - 7), and now play an even worse team. St. Louis, Miami and Indy are winless and beginning to threaten Rod Marinelli’s perfekt season. But Indy and St. Louis play in crap divisions and have plenty of games with shitty teams left, so they should each be able to scrape up at least one win. But Miami? They play in the NFL’s toughest division, and after blowing last week’s game at home to Tim Tebow, their last favorable looking game on their schedule, the Dolphins look like they might be on their way to putting an 0 - 16 season on the shelf to bookend Don Shula’s 17 - 0 season. But, anyway, as for the NO - STL game. . .St. Louis only getting 13 1/2?!?! I figured they’d at least get 20 1/2. Bet your wedding ring on the Saints. New Orleans.
New England at Pittsburgh +3: After a slow start, the Steelers have been getting it together the last three weeks. New England is 5 - 1, and most people believe them to still be an *elite* team. Not me. The Pats are soft on defense, and Tom Brady looks very beatable when facing a team that can pressure him. Brady has never had much trouble with the Steelers defense, though. It’s not often you see the Steelers a home underdog. I’m betting this is the year the Steelers put the hurt on Brady. Pittsburgh.
Dallas +3 1/2 at Philadelphia: Two sloppy big play offenses going at it to see who remains in the race to win the mediocre NFC East. The Cowboys got a huge game from Demarco Murray last week, and now face an Eagles team with a terrible run defense. The Eagles have the #1 rushing offense in the league, and are going up against Dallas’ #1 rush defense, meaning the Eagles chances hinge on the million dollar left arm and ten cent brain of Michael Vick. This one should feature tons of big plays, penalties, INTs and bonehead decisions. In a game between two teams that both tend to self-destruct, I’ll take the one getting the points. Dallas.
27 October 2011
NCAA Week 9
A little better slate of games even as the two big boys take a break before next week’s Game of the Century. . .
Michigan State +4 at Nebraska: Battle of two over-rated teams, with Michigan State coming off a fluke win over Wisconsin, and once again imagining itself a national power. With the lucky ricochet pass to Keith Nichol, all memories of the Alabama rape are buried deep in the Sparty subconscious, and the Spartans once again believe they can step on the field with anybody and not get violated. The best thing that could happen to the Spartans is to lose to Nebraska, and avoid having to play the LSU-Alabama loser. Do the Spartans really want to be an SEC punk again? I don’t think Nebraska matches up against MSU very well, they are similar to Michigan, with their running QB who can’t throw. . .but Nebraska does get more out of their tailbacks than Michigan, and has the home field advantage. Nebraska.
Purdue +14 at Michigan: Purdue has played much better the last two weeks, giving Penn State a tough game, and then upsetting Illinois in a convincing fashion. Michigan sits in a familiar spot as the last two RichRod teams, opening undefeated, and now having to salvage the season after losing to Michigan State. RichRod’s teams always unraveled at this point in the season, as the poor weather and better defenses exposed Denard Robinson’s terrible arm, and the defense played dead, with Michigan getting hammered by increasingly larger margins as the season winded down in humiliating fashion. Michigan’s defense has seemed to improve this year, and maybe Brady Hoke can pick off three more wins, this one against PU, one against either Iowa or Illinois on the road, and one at home against either Nebraska or Ohio State. That would satisfy most fans for this year--though there could be a lingering uneasiness if Robinson continues to struggle: what to do with him next year, when the schedule is much much tougher, including a frightening opener against Alabama. Well, Michigan will worry about that later. They'll shoot for 9 wins this year, and believe things are looking up. Michigan should win this game, but they ain’t gonna cover. Purdue.
Oklahoma at Kansas State +14. Oklahoma is coming off an embarrassing home loss to Texas Tech, which showed once again how soft they and their conference, the Big Whatever It Was, really is. Now they play on the road against a higher ranked team, and find themselves 14 point favorites. That’s because that higher ranked team is Kansas State, with their joke schedule and whose best win is a road win over the very same Texas Tech team which just beat Oklahoma. But Texas Tech gave that game to KSU, with four costly turnovers. Kansas State is rated #8 in the country. . .in reality there are probably 40 teams which could beat their ass every which way but loose. The line here is 14, and that shouldn’t be points, but spots. . .K State should drop at least 14 spots in next week’s poll after they get exposed in this one. Oklahoma.
Illinois +5 at Penn State. Illinois starting to smell like a RichRod team. They started out 6 - 0, then flopped at home against a crummy Ohio State team and then somehow managed to lose at Purdue. Ron Zook looked a magician two weeks ago, now he’s facing 3 ranked teams in a row, and a possible 5 game losing streak. Penn State is horrible, yet somehow manage to find themselves in first place in one of the Big 10’s two dumbly named conferences. I actually think Illinois is the better team, but Penn State has got them at the right time, just as they are on the verge of a total collapse. Penn State.
Georgia at Florida +3: Just as I thought would happen after Georgia opened with two losses and it looked like Richt was on his way out: Georgia is now in the middle of what will probably be a season-ending 10 game winning streak and trip to the SEC title game. An easy schedule saves Richt. Florida started out real pretty-looking with their new coach, but once they had to play some mens teams, the losses have piled up. Here’s loss #4 in a row for a team that has only scored 27 points in its last 3 games. Georgia.
Clemson at Georgia Tech +4 1/2. Ga Tech’s high-powered option offense has sputtered the last couple weeks, with embarrassing losses to Virginia and Miami. Now they run into Dabo Swinney’s Clemson team, which has given up 83 points in its last two games, yet still won them fairly easily. Old boy Dabo is the Coach of the Year so far, and has Clemson sitting in striking distance of the BCS title game. A few weeks ago this looked like one of the only two games which could spoil an undefeated season (the other being the season ender at South Carolina). But now I have to wonder if Tech has the ability to outscore Clemson. Paul Johnson better win this game, or he could be headed for his second straight season-ending collapse, and people may begin to wonder if his offense is just a gimmick that only works for Service Academy schools sneaking up on the big boys. Clemson.
Stanford at USC +8: Stanford owned this game under Jim Harbaugh, but now Jimmy is gone, and Stanford's got some negro coach on the sidelines. Here’s the first game where Stanford fans get a glimpse of the future, and realize how much they really lost when Harbaugh took off to the NFL. USC.
Wisconsin at Ohio State + 71/2. This looked like a Big Game before the season started, but OSU lost Tressell and Pryor, and now they are just another team, while Wisconsin took a huge tumble in the polls after their DUMB loss to Michigan State. I’ll be shocked if Wisconsin doesn't bounce back with their fancy negro quarterback and beat the shit out of Ohio State. Wisconsin.
Michigan State +4 at Nebraska: Battle of two over-rated teams, with Michigan State coming off a fluke win over Wisconsin, and once again imagining itself a national power. With the lucky ricochet pass to Keith Nichol, all memories of the Alabama rape are buried deep in the Sparty subconscious, and the Spartans once again believe they can step on the field with anybody and not get violated. The best thing that could happen to the Spartans is to lose to Nebraska, and avoid having to play the LSU-Alabama loser. Do the Spartans really want to be an SEC punk again? I don’t think Nebraska matches up against MSU very well, they are similar to Michigan, with their running QB who can’t throw. . .but Nebraska does get more out of their tailbacks than Michigan, and has the home field advantage. Nebraska.
Purdue +14 at Michigan: Purdue has played much better the last two weeks, giving Penn State a tough game, and then upsetting Illinois in a convincing fashion. Michigan sits in a familiar spot as the last two RichRod teams, opening undefeated, and now having to salvage the season after losing to Michigan State. RichRod’s teams always unraveled at this point in the season, as the poor weather and better defenses exposed Denard Robinson’s terrible arm, and the defense played dead, with Michigan getting hammered by increasingly larger margins as the season winded down in humiliating fashion. Michigan’s defense has seemed to improve this year, and maybe Brady Hoke can pick off three more wins, this one against PU, one against either Iowa or Illinois on the road, and one at home against either Nebraska or Ohio State. That would satisfy most fans for this year--though there could be a lingering uneasiness if Robinson continues to struggle: what to do with him next year, when the schedule is much much tougher, including a frightening opener against Alabama. Well, Michigan will worry about that later. They'll shoot for 9 wins this year, and believe things are looking up. Michigan should win this game, but they ain’t gonna cover. Purdue.
Oklahoma at Kansas State +14. Oklahoma is coming off an embarrassing home loss to Texas Tech, which showed once again how soft they and their conference, the Big Whatever It Was, really is. Now they play on the road against a higher ranked team, and find themselves 14 point favorites. That’s because that higher ranked team is Kansas State, with their joke schedule and whose best win is a road win over the very same Texas Tech team which just beat Oklahoma. But Texas Tech gave that game to KSU, with four costly turnovers. Kansas State is rated #8 in the country. . .in reality there are probably 40 teams which could beat their ass every which way but loose. The line here is 14, and that shouldn’t be points, but spots. . .K State should drop at least 14 spots in next week’s poll after they get exposed in this one. Oklahoma.
Illinois +5 at Penn State. Illinois starting to smell like a RichRod team. They started out 6 - 0, then flopped at home against a crummy Ohio State team and then somehow managed to lose at Purdue. Ron Zook looked a magician two weeks ago, now he’s facing 3 ranked teams in a row, and a possible 5 game losing streak. Penn State is horrible, yet somehow manage to find themselves in first place in one of the Big 10’s two dumbly named conferences. I actually think Illinois is the better team, but Penn State has got them at the right time, just as they are on the verge of a total collapse. Penn State.
Georgia at Florida +3: Just as I thought would happen after Georgia opened with two losses and it looked like Richt was on his way out: Georgia is now in the middle of what will probably be a season-ending 10 game winning streak and trip to the SEC title game. An easy schedule saves Richt. Florida started out real pretty-looking with their new coach, but once they had to play some mens teams, the losses have piled up. Here’s loss #4 in a row for a team that has only scored 27 points in its last 3 games. Georgia.
Clemson at Georgia Tech +4 1/2. Ga Tech’s high-powered option offense has sputtered the last couple weeks, with embarrassing losses to Virginia and Miami. Now they run into Dabo Swinney’s Clemson team, which has given up 83 points in its last two games, yet still won them fairly easily. Old boy Dabo is the Coach of the Year so far, and has Clemson sitting in striking distance of the BCS title game. A few weeks ago this looked like one of the only two games which could spoil an undefeated season (the other being the season ender at South Carolina). But now I have to wonder if Tech has the ability to outscore Clemson. Paul Johnson better win this game, or he could be headed for his second straight season-ending collapse, and people may begin to wonder if his offense is just a gimmick that only works for Service Academy schools sneaking up on the big boys. Clemson.
Stanford at USC +8: Stanford owned this game under Jim Harbaugh, but now Jimmy is gone, and Stanford's got some negro coach on the sidelines. Here’s the first game where Stanford fans get a glimpse of the future, and realize how much they really lost when Harbaugh took off to the NFL. USC.
Wisconsin at Ohio State + 71/2. This looked like a Big Game before the season started, but OSU lost Tressell and Pryor, and now they are just another team, while Wisconsin took a huge tumble in the polls after their DUMB loss to Michigan State. I’ll be shocked if Wisconsin doesn't bounce back with their fancy negro quarterback and beat the shit out of Ohio State. Wisconsin.
19 October 2011
NFL Week 7
Atlanta +3 1/2 at Detroit: Big game for both teams. If Atlanta wins, they got a little momentum going after their slow start, and look solid for the playoff run. Lose, and they look like an up-and-down team that might have to sweat out tie-breakers for a #6 seed wild card spot. But given the Lions long history of garbage football, the stakes are even higher for the Honolulu Blue-and-Silver. If the Lions lose their second straight home game, there will definitely be Panic in Detroit. The panic might have already hit fans and local media after losing to the 49ers, but the loss, and the leaky run defense, was overshadowed by the Harbaugh-Schwartz Pat-a-Cake Title Bout. [I liked Harbaugh’s hilariously and subtly insulting taking of responsibility for the fightless fight: “I shook his hand too hard.” We are to therefore understand Schwartz is a nancy boy who winces in agony when given anything other than a limp-wristed laying on of hands. With one Harbaugh iron grip, Schwartz is reduced from raging sideline madman to crybaby queer.] Anyway, the celebrated Suh and Co. must get back to basics this week. They’ve been spotty against the run all year, getting by on turnovers and dumb opposing coaches (negro Viking Leslie Frazier only giving #28 five carries in the second half in Minnesota). A defensive line that can’t plug run holes is worthless. Soft and worthless. Suh and Co. have made life miserable for QBs all year, but if you don’t have to throw the ball against Detroit, what does that matter? The Falcons will see how the 49ers ran all over Detroit, and will give Michael Turner every opportunity to do the same. For the Falcons to win, they need to stick with the run for 4 quarters. I got a feeling Suh and Co. will come out ready to stop the run, but can they maintain their focus for the entire game? If the Lions get an early lead, the Falcons had better not abandon the run. Matt Ryan will not beat Suh and Co., Suh and Co. will beat Matt Ryan. . .to a pulp. The Lions run game is a mess, and now Javhid Best has a headache, so they swapped a pair of Kid Rock concert tickets for a washed-up Ronnie Brown. I make it even money he fumbles on his first carry. The Falcons run defense is pretty solid, so it’s all gonna be on Mathilda Stafford to deliver the points this week. She couldn’t do it last week, but the Falcons secondary stinks. . .even Tavaris Jackson hung 300 yards on them. If Mathilda wants to be a marquis QB, she’s got to win games like this solely with her right arm. Is she up to the challenge? I don’t think so. I see Atlanta pounding the Lions on the ground, then going on top for a couple big gainers to White and Jones. Falcons win outright, and the Lions bandwagon begins to empty. Atlanta.
San Diego at New York Jets +2: Jets beat a sad Miami team to get to 3 - 3, and now play the Chargers. San Diego is the better team on offense and defense. . .Ryan Matthews is turning into one of the best RBs in the league, and Rivers is still throwing for nearly 300 a game. Yet the Chargers somehow manage to keep every team they play in the game. Tim Tebow had them on the ropes in their last game. But Mark Sanchez is no Tim Tebow. San Diego.
Chicago at Tampa Bay +1: They could bill this one the NFL Parity Bowl. These are two teams that can beat anybody, or lose to anybody, on any given Sunday. The game will probably go into overtime. Both teams have beat Atlanta and lost to Detroit, but Tampa beat New Orleans, and Chicago lost to New Orleans, so it would seem Tampa is the team to pick. . .but Jayne Cutler’s been pretty good the last couple weeks, despite rumors of her being bitchy to offensive coordinator Mike Martz. . .and if Tampa Bay wins, they’d actually be 5 - 2. . .and that’s a little too good for a parity team. . .whereas if the Bears win, they’ll both be 4 - 3, right where they belong. Chicago.
Denver +2 at Miami: This might be the most interesting Toilet Bowl ever. Two horrible teams nobody normally would give a shit about, but because Tim Tebow, Mr. Clean-Cut Christian College Football Icon/Pro Football Martyr is starting, everybody will be curious. Miami was awful with Chad Henne, and now that he’s gone, they’re hopeless on offense, relying on the beat-up anti-Tebow, Reggie Bush, to make a few big plays. I’m actually shocked Denver is the underdog. Are they the underdog because Tebow is starting? Is that how little the *experts* expect from him? Would the Broncos be favored to win if Orton was still in there? I’ve always thought Tebow could win in the NFL. I’ve long been a fan of the more unorthodox QBs. . .Billy Kilmer, Fran Tarkenton, Kenny Stabler, Jim Plunkett, Steve Grogan, Jim McMahon. You can win a lot of games with abnormal QBs. And, hey, what’s the difference, really, between Tebow and Michael Vick, anyway? Vick is just the negative image of Tebow, darker, dumber, faster, stronger arm, but basically the same game. Tebow gets the W back in Florida. Denver.
Houston +3 at Tennessee: A mini parity bowl, with 3 - 2 Tennessee going against neurotic 3 - 3 Houston. It was all set up for Houston to coast into the playoffs when Peyton Manning went down, but now the Wellbutrin Texans are without Andre Johnson and Mario Williams. Tennessee sucks, yet if they win they have a 2 game lead over the Xanax Texans in the loss column in the AFC South, the Appalachia of the NFL. . .they ought to put this decal design on the helmets of whichever team wins the AFC South:
17 October 2011
NFL Week 6 Results
San Franciso 25, Detroit 19: Did I call it or what? As for the actual game, it's time for the Lions celebrated defensive line to start taking the run seriously. The 49ers beat them with the power run game, and now it's on tape for every upcoming Lion opponent to see, starting with the Atlanta Falcons, who can pound you with Michael Turner. All the hysteria over the Lions will turn to panic if they lose next week. . .it was all too good to be true, and remember, Marinelli was 6 - 2 before losing 23 of his last 24 games. . .when you've been shit for as long as the Lions, you have to wash off the stink every week, or risk being tossed back into the crapper.
{BTW, Jim Harbaugh is one helluva coach. . .he has the power run game, of course, but he still needed the underwhemling Alex Smith to make a play on that fourth down--if Singletary is the coach, Smith throws one at Walker's feet, and the Lions take over. I think the Lions defense coasted at times, and you can't do that against a Harbaugh team. . .you have to play every down. Time for the Lions to kick the the negro rappers and faux-red neck rockers out of their locker room and get back to basics.}
Atlanta 31, Carolina 17: Turner 27 carries, Ryan 22 throws. That's the recipe for success for Atlanta.
Philadelphia 20, Washington 13: After I finally get off the Eagles, Moronwheg takes my advice: 28 carries for McCoy.
Tampa Bay 26, New Orleans 20: I don't know how Tampa ever wins a game. . .oh, Mark *Carousel Horse* Ingram, 9 carries, 22 yards, that's how.
14 October 2011
NFL Week 6
San Francisco +4 1/2 at The Mighty Detroit Lions Football Machine: In just a few short weeks, Jim Harbaugh has healed the 49ers of all the psychic damage kOOk coach Mike Singletary inflicted on them in the last two-and-a-half seasons. The 49ers have been transformed into an old school NFL badass, with a power run game and an unbreakable run defense. The 49ers are as tough, disciplined and precise as their new head coach. One area where they do not quite reflect Harbaugh, though, is in his cockiness. Conversely, The Mighty Detroit Lions Football Machine, a little more advanced than the 49ers, do reflect the edginess and chip-on-his-shoulder mentality of head coach Jim Schwartz. . .this is the *intangible* edge the Lions have in this match-up of up-and-coming teams. Should be the most interesting battle of the week, and I wouldn't be surprised if the two head coaches, with their massive egos, exchange unpleasantries after the game (remember how Harbaugh cowed USC's Pete Carroll? He'll find a tougher adversary in the often temporarily insane Jim Schwartz). Detroit.
St. Louis +14 at Green Bay: This is the NFL version of Indiana vs Wisconsin. I see no possible way the moribund Rams, this season's biggest flop, can cover. Even if Aaron Rodgers is injured on the first play, back-up QB Matt Flynn can still score enough to rout the pathetic Ram offense, which averages a measly 12 points a game. Green Bay.
Carolina +4 at Atlanta: Do-or-die for the Falcons. Will the Falcons' season end this quickly? Carolina reminds me of last year's Lions, before they went on their season-ending 4 game winning streak, week after week they play better teams nearly even for 60 minutes, before finding a way to lose. One of these weeks they will break through. Carolina has a terrible run defense. This is the week the Falcons have to run the ball 40 times, and forget they drafted Julio Jones. Run, run, and run again. . .and keep Newton off the field. If the Falcons try to win on the right arm of Matt Ryan, they'll fall to the cellar in the NFC South. Mike Smith is too good of a coach to let that happen. Atlanta.
Buffalo +3 at New York Giants: The Giants played shitty last week. . .they got carved up by Tavaris Jackson!!! Something must be wrong in New York. The Bills are better, plain and simple. Buffalo.
Philadelphia at Washington +2. The Redskins, 3 - 1, are at home against a 1 - 4 team, and are the underdog! Last chance for the Eagles. Even as it is, they've got a tough road to get back in the playoff hunt, lose this one, and it's all over. The Redskins defense has been very good, while the Eagles offense is a flash in the pan. I pick the Eagles every week, thinking sooner-or-later they'll get the kinks worked out. I'm done with them. They have the stink of a loser on them, after last week's fiasco in Buffalo. Rex Grossman beats Michael Vick. Washington.
Houston +8 at Baltimore: Houston is a schizophrenic team. . .and Baltimore isn't much more stable, due to Joe Flacco every 3 or 4 weeks passing like Bobby Douglass. But the Ravens win enough to make the playoffs every year, while Houston always comes up short. Schaub always seem to wet himself playing against the tough defenses. Even though Houston beat Pittsburgh this year, it was mainly due to Foster running over the Steelers, Schaub threw for only 140 yards. Houston might be able to cover, if Flacco has one of his crap games, but I see no way they can win outright. Baltimore.
Dallas +7 at New England. The Brokeback Mountain Cowboys have had two weeks to stew over their Titanic sinking against The Mighty Detroit Lions Football Machine. How will the Cowpokes respond? I think they get trampled. Tom Brady's shadow has more substance than Tony Romo. New England.
New Orleans at Tampa Bay +4: I suppose this is a *big game* in the NFC South, but Tampa got destroyed by the 49ers last week, and I am always surprised whenever they win any game. New Orleans is clearly the better team, although they need to stop pretending Mark Ingram is an elite running back. He's a ham-and-egger, a plowhorse that can't really plow, so I guess he's really just a horse, one of those fancily painted Carousel horses, with his first round draft pick decoration. The Saints are better off going with Thomas and Sproles. New Orleans.
St. Louis +14 at Green Bay: This is the NFL version of Indiana vs Wisconsin. I see no possible way the moribund Rams, this season's biggest flop, can cover. Even if Aaron Rodgers is injured on the first play, back-up QB Matt Flynn can still score enough to rout the pathetic Ram offense, which averages a measly 12 points a game. Green Bay.
Carolina +4 at Atlanta: Do-or-die for the Falcons. Will the Falcons' season end this quickly? Carolina reminds me of last year's Lions, before they went on their season-ending 4 game winning streak, week after week they play better teams nearly even for 60 minutes, before finding a way to lose. One of these weeks they will break through. Carolina has a terrible run defense. This is the week the Falcons have to run the ball 40 times, and forget they drafted Julio Jones. Run, run, and run again. . .and keep Newton off the field. If the Falcons try to win on the right arm of Matt Ryan, they'll fall to the cellar in the NFC South. Mike Smith is too good of a coach to let that happen. Atlanta.
Buffalo +3 at New York Giants: The Giants played shitty last week. . .they got carved up by Tavaris Jackson!!! Something must be wrong in New York. The Bills are better, plain and simple. Buffalo.
Philadelphia at Washington +2. The Redskins, 3 - 1, are at home against a 1 - 4 team, and are the underdog! Last chance for the Eagles. Even as it is, they've got a tough road to get back in the playoff hunt, lose this one, and it's all over. The Redskins defense has been very good, while the Eagles offense is a flash in the pan. I pick the Eagles every week, thinking sooner-or-later they'll get the kinks worked out. I'm done with them. They have the stink of a loser on them, after last week's fiasco in Buffalo. Rex Grossman beats Michael Vick. Washington.
Houston +8 at Baltimore: Houston is a schizophrenic team. . .and Baltimore isn't much more stable, due to Joe Flacco every 3 or 4 weeks passing like Bobby Douglass. But the Ravens win enough to make the playoffs every year, while Houston always comes up short. Schaub always seem to wet himself playing against the tough defenses. Even though Houston beat Pittsburgh this year, it was mainly due to Foster running over the Steelers, Schaub threw for only 140 yards. Houston might be able to cover, if Flacco has one of his crap games, but I see no way they can win outright. Baltimore.
Dallas +7 at New England. The Brokeback Mountain Cowboys have had two weeks to stew over their Titanic sinking against The Mighty Detroit Lions Football Machine. How will the Cowpokes respond? I think they get trampled. Tom Brady's shadow has more substance than Tony Romo. New England.
New Orleans at Tampa Bay +4: I suppose this is a *big game* in the NFC South, but Tampa got destroyed by the 49ers last week, and I am always surprised whenever they win any game. New Orleans is clearly the better team, although they need to stop pretending Mark Ingram is an elite running back. He's a ham-and-egger, a plowhorse that can't really plow, so I guess he's really just a horse, one of those fancily painted Carousel horses, with his first round draft pick decoration. The Saints are better off going with Thomas and Sproles. New Orleans.
13 October 2011
NCAA Week 7
Even fewer good games than last week. . .
Michigan +2 1/2 at Michigan State: This one's for the prestigious Paul Bunyan trophy, so you know each team will lay it all on the line. Of course, we don't need to tell you these two teams really don’t like each other (but, of course, they do respect each other), and that what has happened in the past will not matter this Saturday in East Lansing, and that you can throw out the records, and that it’s all gonna come down to which team wants it more, which team is willing to leave it all on the field, and which team is willing to play the whole sixty minutes, and which team is able to play it one snap at a time, and which team plays until the last whistle blows. In the end, there will be no moral victories, and, of course, it’ll be a shame either one of these teams has to lose, but the team that wins will most likely be the one that sets the tone early, protects the ball, stays within itself, yet manages to play with child-like enthusiasm. Remember, the game will most likely be won in the trenches, but when all is said and done, it could all come to down to which team has the ball last. . .got it? Michigan State has the better defense, the better running backs, the better special teams, the better passing QB. Michigan has. . .Denard Robinson running the ball. State stopped Robinson from making the big plays last year, forced him to throw, and, inevitably, he chucked 3 sad-looking INTs. What could possibly be different this year? The only real advantage Michigan has is that Robinson, despite his almost automatic 3 INTs against any decent defense, never loses confidence in himself, while State's Kirk Cousins sometimes has looked like a collegiate Tony Romo, with dumb late game INTs. But for that to happen this week, Michigan will have to keep the game close well into the 4th quarter. I just don't see that happening. State will pound U-M with their big backs, and eventually Baker or Bell will bust one or two big ones, then Robinson will toss a couple INTs and the game is out of Michigan's reach. I won't take back all the semi-nice things I said about Hoke after the NWU game if Michigan loses, because they just don't match-up well against Dantonio's sodbusters. Michigan State.
Indiana +40 at Wisconsin. 40 points?!?! The last time I saw a conference game spread this big was back in Harbaugh's first year, when Stanford was getting 42 at USC. . .and Stanford won the game outright. Indiana ain't gonna beat Wisconsin. You got a much better chance of the Rapture happening Saturday than Indiana winning. Last year's game was 83 - 20. 83. And Wisconsin didn't have their fancy negro QB last year. Wisconsin.
Oklahoma State at Texas +7 1/2: As bad as Texas got their ass beat last week, they're only getting 7 1/2? Oklahoma State has a better offense than Oklahoma, and while their defense is a little shabby, there's no way Texas can score enough to keep this one close. Oklahoma State.
Ohio State +3 1/2 at Illinois. The Buckeyes only chance to avoid falling below .500 and losing a third straight conference game is if Braxton Miller plays. If the Buckeyes are forced to play 45 yr old 10th yr senior qb Joe Bauserman or third-stringer Kenny Guiton, the Illini will win easily. Even with Miller, I'll pick Illinois. Illinois is a lot like Michigan, 6 - 0, and only played one decent team, Arizona State at home, and they won a squeaker 17 - 14. Ohio State is an average team with Miller, without him, they stink. Illinois.
Clemson at Maryland +8: I got a bad feeling about this one for old boy Dabo Swinney. Tajh Boyd is a little nicked up, and Maryland has played West Virginia and Georgia Tech tough. Upset Special of the Week: Maryland.
Arizona State +14 at Oregon. The Sun Devils (good name) gave the Ducks (dumb name) a decent game last year. . .and LaMichael (dumb name) James might not play this week for the Ducks (dumb name). Oregon's been just a little off this year, like they're still hungover from fumbling away the LSU game. I don't think ASU will win, but they should cover. Arizona State.
Michigan +2 1/2 at Michigan State: This one's for the prestigious Paul Bunyan trophy, so you know each team will lay it all on the line. Of course, we don't need to tell you these two teams really don’t like each other (but, of course, they do respect each other), and that what has happened in the past will not matter this Saturday in East Lansing, and that you can throw out the records, and that it’s all gonna come down to which team wants it more, which team is willing to leave it all on the field, and which team is willing to play the whole sixty minutes, and which team is able to play it one snap at a time, and which team plays until the last whistle blows. In the end, there will be no moral victories, and, of course, it’ll be a shame either one of these teams has to lose, but the team that wins will most likely be the one that sets the tone early, protects the ball, stays within itself, yet manages to play with child-like enthusiasm. Remember, the game will most likely be won in the trenches, but when all is said and done, it could all come to down to which team has the ball last. . .got it? Michigan State has the better defense, the better running backs, the better special teams, the better passing QB. Michigan has. . .Denard Robinson running the ball. State stopped Robinson from making the big plays last year, forced him to throw, and, inevitably, he chucked 3 sad-looking INTs. What could possibly be different this year? The only real advantage Michigan has is that Robinson, despite his almost automatic 3 INTs against any decent defense, never loses confidence in himself, while State's Kirk Cousins sometimes has looked like a collegiate Tony Romo, with dumb late game INTs. But for that to happen this week, Michigan will have to keep the game close well into the 4th quarter. I just don't see that happening. State will pound U-M with their big backs, and eventually Baker or Bell will bust one or two big ones, then Robinson will toss a couple INTs and the game is out of Michigan's reach. I won't take back all the semi-nice things I said about Hoke after the NWU game if Michigan loses, because they just don't match-up well against Dantonio's sodbusters. Michigan State.
Indiana +40 at Wisconsin. 40 points?!?! The last time I saw a conference game spread this big was back in Harbaugh's first year, when Stanford was getting 42 at USC. . .and Stanford won the game outright. Indiana ain't gonna beat Wisconsin. You got a much better chance of the Rapture happening Saturday than Indiana winning. Last year's game was 83 - 20. 83. And Wisconsin didn't have their fancy negro QB last year. Wisconsin.
Oklahoma State at Texas +7 1/2: As bad as Texas got their ass beat last week, they're only getting 7 1/2? Oklahoma State has a better offense than Oklahoma, and while their defense is a little shabby, there's no way Texas can score enough to keep this one close. Oklahoma State.
Ohio State +3 1/2 at Illinois. The Buckeyes only chance to avoid falling below .500 and losing a third straight conference game is if Braxton Miller plays. If the Buckeyes are forced to play 45 yr old 10th yr senior qb Joe Bauserman or third-stringer Kenny Guiton, the Illini will win easily. Even with Miller, I'll pick Illinois. Illinois is a lot like Michigan, 6 - 0, and only played one decent team, Arizona State at home, and they won a squeaker 17 - 14. Ohio State is an average team with Miller, without him, they stink. Illinois.
Clemson at Maryland +8: I got a bad feeling about this one for old boy Dabo Swinney. Tajh Boyd is a little nicked up, and Maryland has played West Virginia and Georgia Tech tough. Upset Special of the Week: Maryland.
Arizona State +14 at Oregon. The Sun Devils (good name) gave the Ducks (dumb name) a decent game last year. . .and LaMichael (dumb name) James might not play this week for the Ducks (dumb name). Oregon's been just a little off this year, like they're still hungover from fumbling away the LSU game. I don't think ASU will win, but they should cover. Arizona State.
11 October 2011
The Mighty Detroit Lions Football Machine 24, Chicago 13
The Mighty Detroit Lions Football Machine 24, Chicago 13: Man, it seemed like the Bears' offense was on the field the whole game. How many penalty first downs did the Lions defense give the Bears? And then the Bears would promptly false start--ha ha ha. The Bears offensive line was not exactly stellar. But I guess that fact escaped dumbly-named Bears head coach Lovie Smith, who ought to have his head examined for going for it on 4th and a half yard at the Detroit 25 at the end of the 1st quarter. No way that pitiful offensive line was going to make any room for Forte. If Lovie really wanted to go for it, he should have passed. Bonehead call by Lovie. You actually have to give Jay Cutler a slap on the back for keeping his team in the game. He never let the near-constant pressure get to him, and he made some great throws *under duress,* as they say. I had the feeling the Lions offense could have scored whenever they needed. . .they only ran 45 plays and still gained 395 yards. No miracle comeback needed here. The better team won--and they won without playing very crisply. The defensive line abused Chicago, and the offense made the few plays it needed to. The worst part of the game was having to watch the second half at the jail. A deranged new arrest was barking, growling and shouting gibberish non-stop from a holding cell, and was loud enough to drown out the sound on the big flat screen TVs.
Other games from Week 5:
Green Bay 25, Atlanta 14: I thought Atlanta played Green Bay about as well as they could. The difference in the game was at the quarterback position. Aaron Rodgers was Aaron Rodgers, and, alas for the Falcons, Matt Ryan was Matt Ryan. Listen, Ryan is over-rated. He's always mentioned as one of the good young NFL QBs--no. He's one of the average young QBs. Is he really any better than Sanchise? You can win a lot of games with an average QB. Hell, look at the Super Bowl results, you can win it all with an average QB, but your chances of beating a team that is equal in all other regards, but has a QB like Rodgers, are very slim.
Buffalo 31, Philadelphia 24: The Eagles are a mess. They play just well enough to lose. The dumbass who jumped offsides at the end of the game is taking a lot of heat, but the real problem for the Eagles remains the addiction to big plays on offense. You got a great running back in McCoy, and he gets only 11 carries. He picked up 80 yds in those 11 carries. Give him at least 20 carries a game. Buffalo's running back carried the ball 26 times. Buffalo controlled the clock, Vick runs out there trying to hit a homerun every time, the turnovers pile up, and you dig a hole you can't get out of. Andy Reid, who has been a decent coach over the years, is probably doing the worst job of any coach in the league this year.
San Francisco 48, Tampa Bay 3: Jim Harbaugh, Coach of the Year. Bank on it. Look how quickly he turned Singletary's mess into a Football MACHINE. A machine that ground up and spit out the Parity Bay Buccaneers. Harbaugh has got a REAL football team. Power running game, tough defense, disciplined effort. Better beat him now, before he gets a good QB.
New England 30, New York Jets 21: What's going on here? Rex Ryan's defense gets run over by a finesse team? It's one thing if a power run team like Oakland does it. . .but the finesse Patriots run all over the Jets? Are the players tuning out the Great Blowhard Rex? Something ain't right here. . .
Oakland 25, Houston 20: Houston just cannot handle prosperity. They play in the weekest division in football, and here they are, stuck in a tie with a lousy Tennessee team after they bungled away the Raiders game. Somehow the Texans managed to lose to a 15 for 35 Jason Campbell on a day when Schaub throws for over 400 yards. Houston gains 200 more yards than the Raiders, and they lose. Houston is erratic. . .blame the coach. . .he's probably some jittery little geek who stays up all night color-coding play charts and fretting over his latent red-zone tendencies. . .
Other games from Week 5:
Green Bay 25, Atlanta 14: I thought Atlanta played Green Bay about as well as they could. The difference in the game was at the quarterback position. Aaron Rodgers was Aaron Rodgers, and, alas for the Falcons, Matt Ryan was Matt Ryan. Listen, Ryan is over-rated. He's always mentioned as one of the good young NFL QBs--no. He's one of the average young QBs. Is he really any better than Sanchise? You can win a lot of games with an average QB. Hell, look at the Super Bowl results, you can win it all with an average QB, but your chances of beating a team that is equal in all other regards, but has a QB like Rodgers, are very slim.
Buffalo 31, Philadelphia 24: The Eagles are a mess. They play just well enough to lose. The dumbass who jumped offsides at the end of the game is taking a lot of heat, but the real problem for the Eagles remains the addiction to big plays on offense. You got a great running back in McCoy, and he gets only 11 carries. He picked up 80 yds in those 11 carries. Give him at least 20 carries a game. Buffalo's running back carried the ball 26 times. Buffalo controlled the clock, Vick runs out there trying to hit a homerun every time, the turnovers pile up, and you dig a hole you can't get out of. Andy Reid, who has been a decent coach over the years, is probably doing the worst job of any coach in the league this year.
San Francisco 48, Tampa Bay 3: Jim Harbaugh, Coach of the Year. Bank on it. Look how quickly he turned Singletary's mess into a Football MACHINE. A machine that ground up and spit out the Parity Bay Buccaneers. Harbaugh has got a REAL football team. Power running game, tough defense, disciplined effort. Better beat him now, before he gets a good QB.
New England 30, New York Jets 21: What's going on here? Rex Ryan's defense gets run over by a finesse team? It's one thing if a power run team like Oakland does it. . .but the finesse Patriots run all over the Jets? Are the players tuning out the Great Blowhard Rex? Something ain't right here. . .
Oakland 25, Houston 20: Houston just cannot handle prosperity. They play in the weekest division in football, and here they are, stuck in a tie with a lousy Tennessee team after they bungled away the Raiders game. Somehow the Texans managed to lose to a 15 for 35 Jason Campbell on a day when Schaub throws for over 400 yards. Houston gains 200 more yards than the Raiders, and they lose. Houston is erratic. . .blame the coach. . .he's probably some jittery little geek who stays up all night color-coding play charts and fretting over his latent red-zone tendencies. . .
09 October 2011
Michigan 42, Northwestern 24
Michigan 42, Northwestern 24. Make no mistake, that was the biggest win for Michigan football since Lloyd's finale against Tebow. Better Michigan teams have lost to worse Northwestern teams. In fact, the first half looked like vintage Lloyd Carr Michigan, with a defense clueless to stop the Wildcats spread offense. It looked like Ron English or Jim Herrmann or one of RichRod's clowns was running the D. BUT in the second, Mattison got his defense to pitch a shutout. That never happened under RichRod, and alnost never happened under Lloyd.
So I have to say Brady Hoke has turned out better than I thought he would. I figured this Michigan team would win 5 games MAX. Now they have six, with winnable games against Purdue and Ohio State at home. Coach Hoke has not been the stumblebum joke I thought he would be. He brought in Mattison, and there has been steady improvement in the defense. It's still a defense with holes, but at least now the defense plays for 60 minutes, and doesn't give up multiple huge plays every game. And the offense has been better than I thought it would be. Borges has done a good job with Robinson, he's been more flexible than RichRod was in his first year with an ill-fitting QB.
As for Robinson, you have to give the kid credit. He sucked in the first half, with three terrible INTs. He once again looked AWFUL trying to masquerade as a pocket passer. But the kid never quits, never seems to doubt himself. He came out in the second half and made the few throws he needed to make, and Michigan rolled all over NW 28 - 0 in the 3rd and 4th quarters.
Once again, I give Michigan almost no chance to win next week. Michigan State will test Michigan with their run game. It's been mediocre at best, this year, but they have big backs and will try to pound Michigan. Michigan State's defense has been pretty good, and they'll definitely stack the box and make Robinson beat them in the air. No way Michigan can beat State if Robinson throws another 3 INTs. But, we'll see. So far this Michigan team has exceeded my expectations. If they do it again against State, I'll starting drinking the Hoke kool-aid.
Other Games:
Nebraska 34, Ohio State 27. Ha ha ha, , ,the Buckeye's defense cracked. . .they couldn't deal with the injury to Miller. Seeing 45 yr old, 10th yr senior Joe Bauserman have to come in at QB was the straw that broke the Buckeyes' back. . .the defense collapsed, and OSU gave Nebraska its biggest comeback win in school history. Poor Luke Fickell. . .he has to ride out the season, week after week, knowing he has ZERO chance at keeping his job. He's just there to mop up the mess for Urban Meyer. Fickell was put in an almost impossible situation, and he's lived down to the challenge. Now the best he can hope for is to guide the Buckeyes to a fleabag bowl, and then polish up his resume and hope he lands a coordinator's job at a power conference school. I tell you this, Michigan had better beat this sorry ass Buckeye team.
Georgia 20, Tennessee 12. Does not seem like this was the most exciting game of the week. But I point out the score because earlier in the week I said bet the house on Georgia. I pat myself on the back for that one. Tennessee 23 carries for -20 yards. . .ha ha ha. . .minus 1 yard and a cloud of pus.
Oklahoma 55, Texas 17: Big Deal. Texas was puffed up on a crap schedule, and so they rolled over for the Sooners. But the Sooners are still a soft team that would get crushed in a title game against Alabama or LSU. Here's the proof they are soft: in a 55 - 17 game, they throw the ball 52 times, and run it 19. Ain't gonna work outside the finesse Big Whatever It Was conference.
So I have to say Brady Hoke has turned out better than I thought he would. I figured this Michigan team would win 5 games MAX. Now they have six, with winnable games against Purdue and Ohio State at home. Coach Hoke has not been the stumblebum joke I thought he would be. He brought in Mattison, and there has been steady improvement in the defense. It's still a defense with holes, but at least now the defense plays for 60 minutes, and doesn't give up multiple huge plays every game. And the offense has been better than I thought it would be. Borges has done a good job with Robinson, he's been more flexible than RichRod was in his first year with an ill-fitting QB.
As for Robinson, you have to give the kid credit. He sucked in the first half, with three terrible INTs. He once again looked AWFUL trying to masquerade as a pocket passer. But the kid never quits, never seems to doubt himself. He came out in the second half and made the few throws he needed to make, and Michigan rolled all over NW 28 - 0 in the 3rd and 4th quarters.
Once again, I give Michigan almost no chance to win next week. Michigan State will test Michigan with their run game. It's been mediocre at best, this year, but they have big backs and will try to pound Michigan. Michigan State's defense has been pretty good, and they'll definitely stack the box and make Robinson beat them in the air. No way Michigan can beat State if Robinson throws another 3 INTs. But, we'll see. So far this Michigan team has exceeded my expectations. If they do it again against State, I'll starting drinking the Hoke kool-aid.
Other Games:
Nebraska 34, Ohio State 27. Ha ha ha, , ,the Buckeye's defense cracked. . .they couldn't deal with the injury to Miller. Seeing 45 yr old, 10th yr senior Joe Bauserman have to come in at QB was the straw that broke the Buckeyes' back. . .the defense collapsed, and OSU gave Nebraska its biggest comeback win in school history. Poor Luke Fickell. . .he has to ride out the season, week after week, knowing he has ZERO chance at keeping his job. He's just there to mop up the mess for Urban Meyer. Fickell was put in an almost impossible situation, and he's lived down to the challenge. Now the best he can hope for is to guide the Buckeyes to a fleabag bowl, and then polish up his resume and hope he lands a coordinator's job at a power conference school. I tell you this, Michigan had better beat this sorry ass Buckeye team.
Georgia 20, Tennessee 12. Does not seem like this was the most exciting game of the week. But I point out the score because earlier in the week I said bet the house on Georgia. I pat myself on the back for that one. Tennessee 23 carries for -20 yards. . .ha ha ha. . .minus 1 yard and a cloud of pus.
Oklahoma 55, Texas 17: Big Deal. Texas was puffed up on a crap schedule, and so they rolled over for the Sooners. But the Sooners are still a soft team that would get crushed in a title game against Alabama or LSU. Here's the proof they are soft: in a 55 - 17 game, they throw the ball 52 times, and run it 19. Ain't gonna work outside the finesse Big Whatever It Was conference.
07 October 2011
New York Yankees 28, Detroit Tigers 17
. . .and the Yankees lose, 3 games to 2. Ha ha ha. A-Rod striking out in his last two at bats, once with the bags loaded. Just like in 2006, I don't care if the Tigers win the World Series or not. . .they beat the fucking Yankees. . .the moneybags Yankees.
Jim Leyland choking himself up after the game, already relishing the memories for himself and Kelly. . .maybe he'll retire, now.
How come nobody ever mentions Valverde for MVP? 51 straight saves ought to at least merit an honorable mention. . .
Girardi is a creepy bath house homo-looking dude. . .and here he talks about Nova getting *stiff*. . .and look at those ears, like some big faggot has been pulling on them for a good long time. A pair of *Yankees,* indeed. . .
Jim Leyland choking himself up after the game, already relishing the memories for himself and Kelly. . .maybe he'll retire, now.
How come nobody ever mentions Valverde for MVP? 51 straight saves ought to at least merit an honorable mention. . .
Girardi is a creepy bath house homo-looking dude. . .and here he talks about Nova getting *stiff*. . .and look at those ears, like some big faggot has been pulling on them for a good long time. A pair of *Yankees,* indeed. . .
05 October 2011
04 October 2011
NCAA Week 6
Not many interesting games this week. I really had to scrounge around just to pick these. . .
Oklahoma at Texas +10. The Pantywaist Bowl for fagging rights in the Big Whatever It Was. The experts don’t think much of Texas, giving them 10. Texas has improved their running game a little bit this year, and now has another frail little McCoy at QB. In this battle of two over-rated finesse teams, I’ll take the one getting the 10. Texas.
Florida +14 at LSU. Ol’ Les Miles usually has a dud or two every season, where his team plays down to the competition, and struggle for 60 minutes before finally winning on some unbelievable fluke or gimmick. Hasn’t happened yet this year. But Florida’s giving a freshman QB his first start at Baton Rouge--so it should be an easy one for LSU. Nevertheless, I’ll predict Les fucks up his offense by playing Jordan Jefferson too much, allowing Florida to hang around most of the game and beat the spread. Florida.
Iowa +4 at Penn State. Two mediocre teams in a mediocre conference slogging it out for an invitation to the Citrus Bowl or whatever. Iowa has the better QB, Penn State has the better defense. Iowa.
Vanderbilt +29 1/2 at Alabama. That’s a lot of points to give for a conference game, even if it’s Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt only lost by 18 to South Carolina, and though you figure ‘Bama is 14 points better than SC, they probably won’t be too excited about playing the Commodes, er, uh, the Commodores a week after playing Florida. Vanderbilt.
Michigan at Northwestern +7 1/2. I still have my doubts about the improvement in Michigan’s defense. They fattened their stats last week against one of the sorriest teams of the last 20 years in the Big 10, Minnesota. Apparently the experts share my doubts, as Michigan, undefeated, ranked 12th, is only spotting 7 1/2 against a .500 Northwestern team that got beat by Army. Northwestern can put points on the board, as they scored 35 at Illinois last week, and Northwestern’s offense has always caused problems for Michigan, stretching way back to the infamous 54 - 51 loss 11 years ago. This is the week the bubble finally bursts for Brady Hoke. Northwestern.
Georgia at Tennesse +1. What?!?! Tennesse has played only 1 decent team this year, Florida, and they lost by 10 at home. They only get one point against Georgia? Bet the house on this one. Georgia.
Ohio State +11 at Nebraska. When was the last time the Buckeyes got 11 points? Both teams were exposed last week. Everybody now knows Nebraska is soft, a one dimensional team with a running QB who can’t throw and a terrible defense, and everybody now knows the Buckeyes can’t score points because they don’t have a QB who can either run or pass. The Buckeyes defense is still solid, but one of these weeks the burden of carrying their horseshit offense will cause them to break. I don’t think the OSU QBs will be able to handle playing in Lincoln, and numerous turnovers will put enough pressure on the OSU defense to make it crack. OSU gets buried by a soft team. Nebraska.
Oklahoma at Texas +10. The Pantywaist Bowl for fagging rights in the Big Whatever It Was. The experts don’t think much of Texas, giving them 10. Texas has improved their running game a little bit this year, and now has another frail little McCoy at QB. In this battle of two over-rated finesse teams, I’ll take the one getting the 10. Texas.
Florida +14 at LSU. Ol’ Les Miles usually has a dud or two every season, where his team plays down to the competition, and struggle for 60 minutes before finally winning on some unbelievable fluke or gimmick. Hasn’t happened yet this year. But Florida’s giving a freshman QB his first start at Baton Rouge--so it should be an easy one for LSU. Nevertheless, I’ll predict Les fucks up his offense by playing Jordan Jefferson too much, allowing Florida to hang around most of the game and beat the spread. Florida.
Iowa +4 at Penn State. Two mediocre teams in a mediocre conference slogging it out for an invitation to the Citrus Bowl or whatever. Iowa has the better QB, Penn State has the better defense. Iowa.
Vanderbilt +29 1/2 at Alabama. That’s a lot of points to give for a conference game, even if it’s Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt only lost by 18 to South Carolina, and though you figure ‘Bama is 14 points better than SC, they probably won’t be too excited about playing the Commodes, er, uh, the Commodores a week after playing Florida. Vanderbilt.
Michigan at Northwestern +7 1/2. I still have my doubts about the improvement in Michigan’s defense. They fattened their stats last week against one of the sorriest teams of the last 20 years in the Big 10, Minnesota. Apparently the experts share my doubts, as Michigan, undefeated, ranked 12th, is only spotting 7 1/2 against a .500 Northwestern team that got beat by Army. Northwestern can put points on the board, as they scored 35 at Illinois last week, and Northwestern’s offense has always caused problems for Michigan, stretching way back to the infamous 54 - 51 loss 11 years ago. This is the week the bubble finally bursts for Brady Hoke. Northwestern.
Georgia at Tennesse +1. What?!?! Tennesse has played only 1 decent team this year, Florida, and they lost by 10 at home. They only get one point against Georgia? Bet the house on this one. Georgia.
Ohio State +11 at Nebraska. When was the last time the Buckeyes got 11 points? Both teams were exposed last week. Everybody now knows Nebraska is soft, a one dimensional team with a running QB who can’t throw and a terrible defense, and everybody now knows the Buckeyes can’t score points because they don’t have a QB who can either run or pass. The Buckeyes defense is still solid, but one of these weeks the burden of carrying their horseshit offense will cause them to break. I don’t think the OSU QBs will be able to handle playing in Lincoln, and numerous turnovers will put enough pressure on the OSU defense to make it crack. OSU gets buried by a soft team. Nebraska.
03 October 2011
NFL Week 4 Results
Detroit 34, Brokeback Mountain Cowboys 30. Ha ha ha, another week, another smirk for Coach Schwartz. This week he rubs it in fatass Rob Ryan's face over Ryan's silly blowhard comment that Calvin Johnson would only be the #3 receiver for Brokeback Mountain. Were the Lions lucky to beat the 'Boys (what an appropriately faggy nickname for Sodom's team)? No. Tony Romo's dumb throws aren't *luck,* they are *normal* (for him). This wasn't Mathilda Stafford's best game, but give her credit, she did a great job dodging the 'Boys (ha ha, how faggy!) pass rush, and did not take a single sack. And when the game presented itself to be won, Mathilda took it by force, delivering down the stretch. That's the advantage a QB like Stafford has over a QB like Romo, and the reason why QBs are judged on wins and losses. So the Lions are 4 - 0, 8 straight wins over the last two seasons, 5 straight road wins. The greatest stretch of Lions football in the post-Fontes era. If Schwartz keeps this up, he will soon be able to sit at the same table as the Big Buck himself. . .
Baltimore 34, New York Jets 17. Not a good day for the Ryan boys. What an awful exhibition of quarterbacking by Flacco and Sanchez. Sanchize!! Ha ha ha, you can't have a much worse game than what Sanchize put out there, though Flacco tried. Dumb and Dumber. It looked like Nick Sheridan and Joe Bauserman going head-to-ass. Both these teams have the defense to end up in the playoffs, though. What a great rematch for the AFC title game, both teams punting on second down, to get their high scoring defenses back on the field.
San Francisco 24, Philadelphia 23. Two stories here: 1) Already the 49ers are showing the toughness of Harbaugh. Wait until he gets a real QB. The 49ers will be back on top. Wait a second, they already are back on top. They already have a 2 game lead in the NFC West. They are a surer bet to make the playoffs than the Lions. 2). The early season struggles of the Eagles. They've already blown two games they should have won, and their defense sucks. The Eagles offense can do everything, but it always seems to go out of sync at the worst possible time. Here's the problem for the Eagles, and the reason Harbaugh beat them: the 49ers second string halfback had as many carries as Philly's LeSean McCoy. You still have to run the ball a little bit, even in the modern NFL. The 49ers were able to pound the Eagles on the ground when the game was on the line, while the Eagles were still trying to finesse their way to the finish line. Andy Reid, a morbidly obese Marv Levy-lite(!), has plateaued as Eagles coach, and now begins his slide out the door.
Washington 17, St. Louis 10. Listen, Sam Bradford can't throw the fucking ball downfield. They won't admit it, but they need to draft Andrew Luck. Bradford is a back-up QB. You can't win with a guy who can only throw short.
Kansas City 22, Minnesota 17. Rock bottom for the Vikings. Their season is over. It's always a problem when you let these interim coaches keep the job. Most of them suck, and now what are the Vikings going to do with negro head coach Leslie Frazier, and aging negro QB Donovan McNabb? Another wasted year for Minny, and now the clock starts to tick on #28's career. Maybe 3 prime seasons left--and it's starting to look like he'll never be in a Super Bowl. . .just like Barry Sanders. There will be a lot of grumbling, griping and second-guessing in Minnesota as they officially enter the Andrew Luck sweepstakes.
Jim Leyland BoneHead. I cannot stand Jim Leyland. Worst Over-Manager I've ever seen. Fucking idiot. Pinch-runners? Absurd. Pinch-running for Ordonez in the 6th inning against the Yankees? The way the Yankees can score runs, you take a bat out of the line-up with a third of the game still to play? Pinch-running is a sucker's move. Count how many DUMB and STUPID over-managing decisions Leyland makes against the Yankees, trying to beat them himself. Thankfully Scherzer was powerful enough yesterday to overcome the STUPIDITY of Leyland.
Baltimore 34, New York Jets 17. Not a good day for the Ryan boys. What an awful exhibition of quarterbacking by Flacco and Sanchez. Sanchize!! Ha ha ha, you can't have a much worse game than what Sanchize put out there, though Flacco tried. Dumb and Dumber. It looked like Nick Sheridan and Joe Bauserman going head-to-ass. Both these teams have the defense to end up in the playoffs, though. What a great rematch for the AFC title game, both teams punting on second down, to get their high scoring defenses back on the field.
San Francisco 24, Philadelphia 23. Two stories here: 1) Already the 49ers are showing the toughness of Harbaugh. Wait until he gets a real QB. The 49ers will be back on top. Wait a second, they already are back on top. They already have a 2 game lead in the NFC West. They are a surer bet to make the playoffs than the Lions. 2). The early season struggles of the Eagles. They've already blown two games they should have won, and their defense sucks. The Eagles offense can do everything, but it always seems to go out of sync at the worst possible time. Here's the problem for the Eagles, and the reason Harbaugh beat them: the 49ers second string halfback had as many carries as Philly's LeSean McCoy. You still have to run the ball a little bit, even in the modern NFL. The 49ers were able to pound the Eagles on the ground when the game was on the line, while the Eagles were still trying to finesse their way to the finish line. Andy Reid, a morbidly obese Marv Levy-lite(!), has plateaued as Eagles coach, and now begins his slide out the door.
Washington 17, St. Louis 10. Listen, Sam Bradford can't throw the fucking ball downfield. They won't admit it, but they need to draft Andrew Luck. Bradford is a back-up QB. You can't win with a guy who can only throw short.
Kansas City 22, Minnesota 17. Rock bottom for the Vikings. Their season is over. It's always a problem when you let these interim coaches keep the job. Most of them suck, and now what are the Vikings going to do with negro head coach Leslie Frazier, and aging negro QB Donovan McNabb? Another wasted year for Minny, and now the clock starts to tick on #28's career. Maybe 3 prime seasons left--and it's starting to look like he'll never be in a Super Bowl. . .just like Barry Sanders. There will be a lot of grumbling, griping and second-guessing in Minnesota as they officially enter the Andrew Luck sweepstakes.
Jim Leyland BoneHead. I cannot stand Jim Leyland. Worst Over-Manager I've ever seen. Fucking idiot. Pinch-runners? Absurd. Pinch-running for Ordonez in the 6th inning against the Yankees? The way the Yankees can score runs, you take a bat out of the line-up with a third of the game still to play? Pinch-running is a sucker's move. Count how many DUMB and STUPID over-managing decisions Leyland makes against the Yankees, trying to beat them himself. Thankfully Scherzer was powerful enough yesterday to overcome the STUPIDITY of Leyland.
01 October 2011
NCAA Results Week 5
Michigan 58, Minnesota 0. Coach Jerry *She's Lost Control* Kill rushed from his Mayo Clinic hospital bed for this? His team really got a lift from him being on the sidelines, eh? Poor Coach Kill. That's one of the sorriest teams in the Big 10 since the days when Northwestern was a punching bag. Minnesota is the new Northwestern, they are worse than Indiana. Kill has a hard way to go in getting Minnesota back to the Glen Mason level. Ha, they fired Mason because they wanted more than 7 or 8 wins every year. Now maybe they appreciate what Mason did. Anyway, for Michigan, another small improvement. Under RichRod, Michigan would have scored 58 against Minny, but would have given up at least 21. The defense is getting better, but how much is on them, and how much is on Minnesota being horseshit, we'll find out next week at Northwestern. Northwestern has a respectable Big 10 offense, as they showed today against Illinois. Northwestern's offense has been the same for about 10 years now, and even Lloyd Carr's best teams had a rough time against NW, especially over there (anybody remember a 54 - 51 game?) Robinson passed the ball a little better today, but again, how much is on him, and how much on the terrible Minnesota? A better test next week. So far, since the day Hoke was hired, not a single thing has gone wrong--when will the bubble burst?
Michigan State 10, Ohio State 7. That's it for Fickell, he's one-and-done. You can have all the blue chippers you want on offense and defense, but if you don't have a QB, it's hard to win. Fickell has his own version of RichRod's Sheridan/Threet burden. It's hard to believe Joe Bauserman is the best The Ohio State University has to offer. Miller was a 5 star recruit, but he looks worse at QB than Denard Robinson did as a true freshman. What a comedown for Buckeyes fans. For ten years they were used to being in the BCS title hunt, now they are just another team--good defense, terrible offense--that can lose any game they play (unless Minnesota is on their schedule. . .remember, even RichRod with Nick Sheridan pasted the Golden Gophers). As for the Spartans, ha ha ha. . .look at Dantonio on the sidelines as the game ended, with that HUGE smirk on his face, as if he had just beaten Tressel and Pryor, instead of Fickell and Bauserman. C'mon, Dantonio! It's a nice win, becuase it's on the road and OSU still has a good defense, but do you really want to play Alabama again? I mean, Kirk Cousins wasn't exactly scintillating out there, was he? Do the Sparties really think they are an elite team with their sodbuster 10 - 7 win over Ohio State-Lite??
Clemson 23, Virginia Tech 3. Ol' Boy Dabo Swinney is the early season leader for coach of the year. 5 - 0, with 3 quality wins, this one on the road in supposedly a *hostile environment.* His defense held Tech to 250 yds and 3 points. Impressive. Clemson all of a sudden is a contender for an undefeated season. . .only 2 hard games left, Ga Tech and South Carolina, and South Carolina just laid an egg against Auburn. That SC offense looks bad right now, Garcia is worse in his 10th season as the Gamecocks QB than he was 10 years ago as a freshman.
Ar-Kansas 42, Texas A&M 38. A&M crapped their pants for a second straight week, blowing a big lead. A first tier Big Whatever It Was team losing to a second tier SEC team. It's gonna take a different coach for A&M to get up to SEC speed.
Michigan State 10, Ohio State 7. That's it for Fickell, he's one-and-done. You can have all the blue chippers you want on offense and defense, but if you don't have a QB, it's hard to win. Fickell has his own version of RichRod's Sheridan/Threet burden. It's hard to believe Joe Bauserman is the best The Ohio State University has to offer. Miller was a 5 star recruit, but he looks worse at QB than Denard Robinson did as a true freshman. What a comedown for Buckeyes fans. For ten years they were used to being in the BCS title hunt, now they are just another team--good defense, terrible offense--that can lose any game they play (unless Minnesota is on their schedule. . .remember, even RichRod with Nick Sheridan pasted the Golden Gophers). As for the Spartans, ha ha ha. . .look at Dantonio on the sidelines as the game ended, with that HUGE smirk on his face, as if he had just beaten Tressel and Pryor, instead of Fickell and Bauserman. C'mon, Dantonio! It's a nice win, becuase it's on the road and OSU still has a good defense, but do you really want to play Alabama again? I mean, Kirk Cousins wasn't exactly scintillating out there, was he? Do the Sparties really think they are an elite team with their sodbuster 10 - 7 win over Ohio State-Lite??
Clemson 23, Virginia Tech 3. Ol' Boy Dabo Swinney is the early season leader for coach of the year. 5 - 0, with 3 quality wins, this one on the road in supposedly a *hostile environment.* His defense held Tech to 250 yds and 3 points. Impressive. Clemson all of a sudden is a contender for an undefeated season. . .only 2 hard games left, Ga Tech and South Carolina, and South Carolina just laid an egg against Auburn. That SC offense looks bad right now, Garcia is worse in his 10th season as the Gamecocks QB than he was 10 years ago as a freshman.
Ar-Kansas 42, Texas A&M 38. A&M crapped their pants for a second straight week, blowing a big lead. A first tier Big Whatever It Was team losing to a second tier SEC team. It's gonna take a different coach for A&M to get up to SEC speed.
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