NCAA Week 12

When Oklahoma - Baylor is the Big Game of the Week, you know you got a weak slate of games.  There are very few games worth commenting on, all the Big Boys in the SEC are playing 98 pound weaklings:

South Carolina will give Citadel a Sandusky-style ass beating

Auburn will put Samford on McQueary Street

Florida will almost touch genitals with Furman

Alabama will horse around with Georgia Southern

LSU will not have to go the Second Mile against Ole Miss

Georgia will have Kentucky ready for the shower room by half-time

With such a sorry line-up to comment on, I'll toss in a couple fillers:

5 - 5 Flops--here are the three biggest flops of the 2011 season.  These three teams were in the pre-season Top 25, and now after ten games find themselves struggling to qualify for the chance to get molested by Houston, Boise State or Southern Mississippi in a Flea Bag Bowl:

Texas A&M: The #8 pre-season team is the Biggest Flop of all. . .playing in the softest of the BCS Conferences this side of the Big East, the Aggies blew more double digit leads this year than Jerry Sandusky blew ten year old boys.  A&M clearly couldn't handle the pressure of the expectation for a Big Year. . .they shit themselves whenever they had a so-called *statement game*. . .and then had the *chutzpa* (that's the Jew term for JoePa, meaning the unmerited nerve to overlook the evidence) to judge themselves worthy of the SEC.  Maybe the SEC can form a Development Conference (SEC DC) with A&M, Kentucky, Tennessee, the Mississippis and Missouri. . .the winner each year gets to move up to the Regular SEC for the following season, while the team with the worst conference record in the Regular SEC gets kicked down to the SEC DC.

Mississippi State: I have to blame the #20 pre-seaon team's flop status on RichRod.  They got to play RichRod's last Michigan team in the Gator Bowl, and their 52 - 14 demolition brought them an undeserved reputation as a team-on-the-rise.  Michigan was a corpse by the time the Gator Bowl rolled around, and nobody on the defense wanted to get hurt making a tackle for a Dead Coach Walking.  In their four games against the Big Boys (LSU, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina) this year, Mississippi State has scored a combined total of 35 points.  Everything will be back to normal next year in Starkville, with nobody paying any attention to the Bulldogs (what's with so many teams in the SEC having the same nickname?  And next year they'll have a third Tigers when Missouri joins. . .).

Florida: The #22 team in the pre-season, with their *Dream Team* of fancy new *genius coordinator* coaches, Will Muschamp and FatAss Charlie Weiss.  Ha ha ha, these two clowns are geniuses when the opposition is Florida Atlantic, UAB, Furman, Tennessee, Kentucky and Vanderbilt, but they are Rod Marinelli when going against Alabama, LSU, Georgia, Auburn, South Carolina and Florida State.  Next time, hire a head coach who has actually done something as a head coach.

Worst New Head Coach of the Year: There is actually somebody worse than Will Muschamp. . .Randy Edsall of Maryland.  For some reason the Brain Trust at Maryland, never a football power, wasn't satisfied with last year's 9 - 4 season, and they forced out their long-time head coach, Ralph Friedgen, who along with former Kansas head coach Mark Mangino were the only two head coaches in the history of college football fatter than Charlie Weiss.  Even more bizarre than the decision to fire Friedgen was their choice for his replacement: Randy Edsall, whose career consists of the dubious accomplishment of *building Connecticut football.*  Uh, Ralph Friedgen must still be scratching his head. . .he's dumped for a guy whose credentials consist of building a mediocre team in the weakest BCS conference??  Reminds me of the terrible decision Minnesota made they got sick of their 7 or 8 wins a year from Glen Mason, and dumped him for some hotshot assistant from Texas, and now Minnesota can't even win 3 games a year.  When these schools that win 7 or 8 a year start dreaming big, no good comes of it.  Don't put on airs, be happy with 7 - 5 or 8 - 4, with one big fluke 10 win season every 10 - 15 years.  But Randy Edsall??  Really??  Maryland goes from a 9 - 4 team to a 2 - 8 team that is now getting hammered week-after-week. 

And now for the few decent games of the week:

Nebraska +3 1/2 at Michigan: The battle to be embarrassed by one of the better SEC teams in a Florida New Years Day Bowl. . .Denard Robinson is down to two chances to beat somebody other than Notre Dame (and that's if you count next week's game against a mediocre Ohio State team).  I'd take Robinson's 60 yards rushing and crap passing against the good teams, if he would just stop turning over the fucking ball.  But he can't.  He can't help himself.  2, 3, 4 turnovers coming every game, most of them in the red zone.  He's Vince Young against Indiana or Minnesota, and Steve Bellisari against Michigan State or Ohio State.  I actually think Michigan is better than Nebraska, but then I knew Michigan was better than Iowa, and Robinson gave them the game.  Michigan's worst defensive game this year was against Northwestern's option, and now they face Taylor Martinez.  Not a good match-up for Michigan.  Nebraska.

Wisconsin at Illinois +14 1/2: I'm only including this game because I laughed when I heard Ron Zook walked out of his press conference after repeatedly being questioned about his job status.  He couldn't even handle some girl asking him about the hot seat--no wonder his teams always fold.  Will the Fighting Illini rally around him?  Nah. . .Wisconsin.

Pederast State University +7 at Ohio State: I'm surprised the Buckeyes are favored this much, coming off an embarrassing loss to Purdue.  Pederast State has the defense to stop OSU's one dimensional offense.  Do the experts think Jerry Sandusky's shower escapades carry over to the field?  All Pederast State has to do is score 10, and they'll at least cover.  Pederast State has Wisconsin next week, so if they lose this one, they'll go from having fired a coach with 409 career wins to firing a coach with 0 career wins.  Pederast State University.

Oklahoma at Baylor +15: Pinball game.  The #3 and #6 passing offenses in the country.  More than 100 total points will be scored in this quintessentially Big Whatever It Was Conference flag football game.  Baylor.