NFL Week 4

Detroit +1 1/2 at Dallas.  The Mighty Detroit Lions Football Machine rolls into Dallas to play the Cowboys--the so-called *AmerICKa's Team.*  Dallas is headed by Tony Romo, another in their long line of homosexual quarterbacks (Roger Staubach, Troy Aikman).  Romo, say the sportswriters, is battling rib injuries supposedly sustained in the 49ers game a couple weeks ago.  But it's more likely Romo damaged his own ribs before the game started as he engaged in his favorite pregame ritual: autofellatio.  The Lions catch a break with Miles Austin out for this game, and have to deal with only Dez Bryant.  The biggest problem for The Mighty Detroit Lions Football Machine will be keeping DeMarcus Ware off Mathilda Stafford. . .it would be nice if the Lions could run the ball for a change, and ease Stafford's load, but the Cowboys are only giving up 60 yds a game on the ground, and the longest run against them this year is just 12 yards.  The game may come down to which team has its starting QB on the field in the 4th quarter.  Detroit.
 
Minnesota at Kansas City +3.  Battle of winless teams.  Vikings are better, because they have #28.  If negro head coach Leslie Frazier chokes this one away, things could get ugly in Minny.  #28 is already griping, and McNabb will soon follow, as there will be no reason for an 0 - 4 Vikings team not to sit his washed-up ass on the bench and get Chrisitan Ponder ready for next season.  The Chiefs were the biggest doormats in the NFL the first two weeks, but somehow managed to play the Chargers tough last week.  This week they revert to their prior form, as #28 runs all over them.  Minnesota.

New England at Oakland +4 1/2.  Probably the most interesting game of the week.  Both teams 2 - 1, but one wonders if the Patriots, with a horrible defense, are a team on the decline, and if the Raiders, who just came up short in Buffalo or they'd be 3 - 0 and co-darlings with the Lions instead of the Bills, are really a team on the rise.  I don't think the Patriots, who give up 4.3 yds per carry, can handle the Raiders old school power run game.  The Raiders rush defense is even worse than the Patriots, but New England is pretty much set-up to live-and-die by Tom Brady's right arm. . .and they died last week as Brady had 4 INTs.  Should be a helluva game.  I'll go with the home team getting the points.  Oakland. 

Atlanta at Seattle +4 1/2.  I figured before the season started the Falcons were headed for a dip.  I didn't think they were really a 13 win team, mainly because of the limitations in Matt Ryan's game.  But I still figured them for 10 or 11 wins.   They're sitting at 1 - 2, and they should be 2 - 1.  Atlanta's problem is Michael Turner only has 42 carries in 3 games.  It seems to me they drafted Julio Jones to go along with Roddy White, and they want to become some kind of New England South, with an all-out aerial attack. . .but Matt Ryan ain't Tom Brady.  Go back to pounding the ball with Turner, and the wins should come.  Seattle is a crap team with no offense, but they do have a fairly tough run defense.  But the Falcons should still pound Turner, and be content to win 20 - 10, instead of trying to score 35 points with Air Ryan and open themselves up to INTs.  Atlanta.

New York Jets +3 1/2 at Baltimore.  The Jets defense hasn't been quite up to par this season, while the Ravens have two slaughters surrounding a mystifying loss to Tennessee.  Blowhard Rex Ryan returns to Baltimore, and I think he leaves a loser.  Baltimore.